I once heard from a bride-to-be that she found my wedding advice [on my former blog] helpful, and it struck me that someone was actually reading and a portion of the content was relevant to her life. Wow. Then it occurred to me that while there are tons of resources out there for brides, there is a complete void of notes to the men who make it possible for us to search ‘weddings’ in the first place.
So, I am beyond excited to introduce my first guest post by my husband!
Sean was my true partner in making sure our Big Day was one we could be proud of and feel present in — two things that not every couple achieves. This is just a small word on the big job he did, and we both hope it brings encouragement and fist bumps to grooms-to-be out there.
Men, pour yourself a pint and take in part one of Sean’s guide for grooms.
Guest post written by Sean in 2013
I will be painting this picture with sports references, hunting and camping metaphors–lots of stuff foreign to the wedding planning lexicon. I’m not flipping through Elle here, in fact there’s a random football game on tv from three years ago and I don’t even know who’s playing.
But…but, as first reader, editor, and conversationalist in-chief to my beautiful wife Siera-Shea, the truth is that I am entering into a very exciting time in a man’s life: the time when other guys besides me are engaged to be married, and I can sit back with my snacks while my wife loves it death.
I gotta tell you it feels fantastic. My popcorn is nice and buttery and I want to contribute my casually solicited opinion on engagement, because it’s just awesome, this place where I’m at right now. It’s like I won this championship game and I can just exaggerate all the best parts. Shea was glowing on our wedding day, and every time we remember it together it’s like we’re polishing our trophy.
“You should write a grooms’ guide to engagement for my blog. But make it kinda funny.”
You know what, I’ll do that. But, grooms won’t read it unless you make them read it brides, so really this is just me, happily looking back on, wait, hold on…touchdown! Man, that was a really nice catch. Ok, number one.
1. He will smoke his victory cigar.
A man after he pops the question is like a man coming back from the hunt with a 16-point buck and he is thinking “I have deer meat for months.” And you know what, lots of men are greedy and thoughtless, but even those kind of men know that if a woman says “yes” that he did pretty much the most important thing he has to do. He plundered the pirate ship and came back with the booty.
Phrases like “looking for venues” make a sort of grammatical logical sense in that initial foggy stretch, but the visceral fallout is real. I could not be spurred into proactive decision-making for the length of a full summer. I was puffing imaginary smoke rings in the victorious man cave of my mind.
2. She wants her Super Bowl.
Once upon a time, I never ever had a friend who didn’t care about his Super Bowl, even if it was a Nintendo convention. God bless my glorious wife for loving the smithereens out of every tiny detail of planning our wedding. All I had to do was stand there with passable awkwardness and really care because I love her.
A bride wants to love her ring and her dress and her party and her hair and her makeup. And the food. And she wants everybody there to love it too. And if she does they will, so don’t be a hero and steal her thunder.
To be continued next week!