a groom’s guide to a glowing bride [part two]

groomsguide_mhThis two-part post was originally published in July 2013.  It is still good and relevant.  Enjoy!

This week, Sean concludes A Groom’s Guide to a Glowing Bride with part two.  Click here to read part one. 

3. Thou shall seek knowledge from the counsel of elders.

Or if you don’t proactively seek out wisdom, you will be subject to an endless avalanche of unsolicited bad opinions about marriage from those who failed (or haven’t tried yet). And you very well might get swindled, because people make money off you when you’ve just vowed your lives to each other.

You’ll more likely find solidarity than wisdom. Go on purpose, make it your mission, and you’ll come away from it better together. Try church pre-marital, Mom and Dad, married friends who’ve grown through the years, other engaged couples…

Embrace the powerful leverage of dichotomy. “We’re not like that,” is just as constructive as “Let’s be like them.” So sit by the campfire, sing kum ba yah, feel soft delicate emotions. All of it; and then roast marshmallows.

4. You will take the last shot.

Your team is gonna be down by one, and you are gonna be Michael Jordan. The ball is coming to you and you’re gonna shoot. Make or miss you’ll still win, and you can’t really do anything about it. Everyone feeds off her. When Shea walked through the church doors down the aisle from me, I sucked all the oxygen out of the building in half a second.

The only thing I wish I did, is when my brother-in-law, with his awesome goatee, walked into the groomsmen’s room before the ceremony with a 12 pack of Kona Longboard Lager and I passed on mine and let my groomsmen have it. And I should have had that beer because, come to find out, over in the bridesmaids’ room, all the girls were having shots of Fireball whiskey.

5. And then comes the great calm.

Our happiness has the unexpected depth of fulfilled expectation. We must still be in the honeymoon stage, because I can’t really describe it yet. It just feels like a great big ocean of calm. It feels like sand in my toes on a Bermuda beach on the first day of an endless vacation.

Remembering our wedding preparations is fun because it’s hard. I can’t remember much exactly, except how surreal it felt that everyone came and did what we asked them to… And now there’s an infomercial for efficiently expanding water hoses on the college football channel. It’s high-time I got the dishes done so my kitchen princess warrior has a clean canvas to work with.

—–

We hope you found our first guest post and first note to the groom to be informative, helpful, encouraging and entertaining.  If you have any questions, advice to chime in, or just two cents about weddings, please talk back in the comments!

If you’re a bride, or groom, and you want to hear more from an experienced, happy groom, let us know!

Happy wedding planning!

XO, MH

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